Recipe for baby lamb shank...

Are You Nervous?

2012-01-20T10:57:00.000-06:00

1st time you're pregnant people ask "are you excited????" 2nd time you're pregnant and your kids are relatively close in age people ALWAYS ask "are you nervous?"
I think people ask because usually your toddler is acting like a hellion and your belly looks like a ticking time bomb.
Am I nervous? No. Why should I be? I have this parenting thing licked. Don't believe me?

Healthy Snack to buy me 25 minutes of peace.

Dining Room Chair Art Project:

When asked if he had drawn on the chair, he says "no, Casey" (our dog). See? I've already instilled great character in him:

Coming Home Outfit

2012-01-18T13:10:00.000-06:00

Is this a bit much?

The Waiting Game-39wks

2012-01-17T10:49:00.000-06:00

I realize it has been nearly 6 weeks since I "hello kittied" this blog but I've been fighting serious writers block. That coupled with hectic life make for bad blogging. apologies. My cousin Lori made me push one more out before....well, before I push one more out.
Let's be honest: there is nothing cute or endearing about the last days of pregnancy. My sweet girl is using her skull as an antique dentist drill/ torture device against my cervix. My hips have turned outwards and are now housing a baby that insists on dangling half way out my vag because I'm 4-freakin-cm dilated. F O U R ....as in she's waving at you right now via birth canal. and still we wait.
(how farking cute is he?)

I have accepted January 23rd as her birth date. I scheduled the induction (only I would schedule it at 40 weeks. why not accept it at 39weeks? I'm so stubborn) I feel so bad complaining, Colin has learned to walk around rubbing his belly saying "ouch, Sistah". I have only taken one belly pic this pregnancy, at like 33 weeks or something so basically I am twice this size now & refuse to take anymore pictures.

It's my last week to eat like a glutinous pig before having no excuse and my heartburn won't allow it. This is pure comedy. I'm still going to eat everything I planned, just need to wash it down with Tums (fat kid move). I can't wait to meet my girl and see her face.
6 days seems like a lifetime away..........

Downfall.

2011-12-02T10:48:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure my downfall is going tobe baby girl headbands on Etsy.
Not sure what makes these little things so addictive but at $10-22 I have collected 49 of these little suckers and I can't seem to stop. Again, they are less:

and more:

(that's me trying to rationalize my purchases. It's like when people say I don't do meth I snort coke like all of a sudden it became classy.) I very well might need an intervention. At this point I'm using everything in my power not to buy this in all it's cottoncandy deliciousness.

Perhaps

2011-11-29T13:55:00.000-06:00

Maybe Colin was thrown off by the very distinct smell of Jameson Irish Whiskey this gentleman was blowing in our direction....or by his blood shot eyes....or gin blossomed nose....or by he's tendency to whisper "shit!" everytime a kid would slip off his velvety lap.

Ok, So I suck a hard one.

2011-11-18T14:50:00.000-06:00

Obvs. Blogging took a nose dive when my wedding season decided to spank me.
My apologies.
I do have pictures though!!! Not only have I been working a minimum of 4 weddings a weekend I have been growing a whole human person. I think that in itself should get me a medal of honor. My belly and baby are h-u-g-e (mental note: take at least one belly pic you selfish cow) Baby girl is moving and growing and I have yet to buy anything other than a few pink outfits. Set up for success thankyouverymuch. I am going to Austin this weekend on a little girl's getaway and hopefully I'll buy more things there (read: more pink outfits) It's getting to the finishing line and I can't wait to meet this little person!!!! Now for your viewing pleasure, isn't she lovely? (i hope that song gets stuck in your head)

Pretty Little Girl

2011-10-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

She's so cute even in placenta.

Here is squeaks at 26 weeks:

A daughter is a day brightener and a heart warmer. ~Author Unknown

2011-10-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

I'd love to continue in my funk, but I don't get to. I don't have the luxury of worrying about my feelings and bathing in the bitter. I have a little man to raise and a little lady to prepare for.
I am really warming up to my little lady. I can't wait to meet her, to see her face and spend my entire life getting to know her. I feel her move more and more and it warms my icy heart to realize she has awake times, and sleepy times, and times where she is playful and times where she is quiet. She is an actual person & that concept is so weird to me. Even when I gave birth to Colin I was in complete shock a human came out of there, like I never connected the moving object in my belly to this child that appeared (after hours of pushing). I am trying to take it all in this time, I know it's my last pregnancy so each day I remind myself that "this is the last time I'll be 24weeks so enjoy it" it's hard sometimes but I try. Preparing for her has been easier since I've started buying stuff. Not going to lie, it's really really hard to not gasp a bit when you buy something sweet and pink and the size of a doll. It makes your heart skip a beat.

Weird Place

2011-09-28T12:46:00.000-05:00

(Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with my dear friend Cara. What happened to Timmy is a sad, rare, & tragic. I am in no way trying to make her grief about me, I've just been in a funk lately)

I think the only word I can use to describe how I feel about my pregnancy lately is: disenchanted.
It has lost it's magic and glow. I'm not talking about the last 3 weeks of discomfort type of thing, I mean the baby journal-shop-take belly pictures-do pg questionnaires type of thing. I feel like I'm short changing this baby and making her seem less important and relevant. That isn't my intention, I'm just scared. I find myself doing things like (yesterday) booking my newborn photographer and asking her "what happens if she doesn't make it?" AS IF I WANT A RETURN POLICY OR SOMETHING??!!! God forbid I lose my child do you really think I'll worried about a $300 deposit on her photographer? What the hell is the matter with me? I just keep thinking the worst. Does it help that Colin was master mover and this kid seems to move once a day and like a feather? NO! I text Mr. Shank daily with things like "no movement today-not a good sign" I'm the girl who cried crazy at this point. I really need to get my head together. Relax and realize many things are what they are and I can't try to control everything.

Easier said than done I guess.

Timmy

2011-09-24T11:24:00.000-05:00

9/19-9/23
My dear friend Cara lost her son at four days old. She has pain and strength I don't think I can begin to understand. My love, thoughts and prayers are with Cara, Adam and big sister Maddie. Timmy was named for his grandfather who passed away earlier this year. I hope Timmy finds peace and love in his grandfather's arms. My heart is heavy and I ache for them. I think when you lose a baby your worst fear is that eventually everyone will forget and you will be the only one mourning him. I know for certain none of us who know Cara will ever forget Timmy.

Little Princess

2011-09-17T14:24:00.000-05:00

Have I actually expressed my disgust for this term? I l-o-a-t-h-e it with all my being. I hate when there are outfits that say it on there, imply it, that sexualize father/daughter relationships. "My prince charming is daddy" or "This Princess has daddy wrapped around her finger" I think it's sick...and borderline trashy-to be perfectly honest. I don’t like rhinestones or bedazzling or when it looks like a Muppet is growing out of a kids head. So I beg my family and friends to please stop sending me pictures like this. I already have to replace my mental image of 2 boys running around the beach in matching Vilebrequin swim trunks, with an image of a boy and a girl...so I need the girl to not be wearing Michael's craft store clearance aisle.

It Only Took 21 Weeks But

2011-09-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

Good Bye Ring.
I said good bye to my wedding band 10 weeks ago and now the engagement ring. I am the marshmallow man. They say there is a drought in Texas, I think that's only because they don't know I'm retaining all the water.

Wanted!

2011-09-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

See this lady?? She is known for buying Pepto Bismol colored crap, anything with lace and bows and has threatened to put a bow on top of my daughter's head when the head out even if the rest of the body has yet to exit my vagina.

She is my mother.

So it turns out.........

2011-09-10T10:16:00.000-05:00

I am not Queen in the House of Blue. I have been seriously demoted to mere servant by this:

Here's what happened, on our high risk scan at 16 weeks, 4 days the ultrasound tech refused to tell us the sex of the baby. She claimed "I don’t like to be wrong then you will get mad at me" then the doctor came in, blew the tech off and said she'd be happy to tell us the sex. we asked her to write it down on a sheet a paper as the next day was our 3 rd year anniversary dinner. We didn't make it to the next day, we went straight to Janie & Jack and had the lady wrap an outfit up based on the paper. Long story long, we get home, open it and it's a teeny tiny baby blue outfit, cue trumpets, announce sex, and get to planning our life (see post below).
Then....we go to our anatomy scan. Our regular tech was there and she starts by saying "...so let's get the big question out of the way" really cocky-like we say "no, need we already know, we went to a level 2 with the high risk doctor" she kind of shrugs and says the weirdest words I ever heard "Ok, you know she's a girl then I guess..." 3 things happened at the same time. I almost fell off the exam chair, my husband chokes on invisible drink, and my mom shoots up to yell "my prayers worked!". The rest of it is a blur.
(Classic Shank Style we still needed more proof so we paid for an elective the next day where the lady said if I gave birth to a boy she would give us her car-so pretty much 100% vageen)

So here I am. Mommy to be of a little girl (first granddaughter on both sides) God help us, she'll rule the house.
PS-the day after I found out I was pregnant I went to get a manicure and picked a pretty shade of pink, turned it over and it was called "It's a Girl" I should have listened....

I'm a Summer Baby Momma

2011-08-19T09:42:00.000-05:00

So I have no clue what to do about newborn clothes in the winter. This usually means I buy a million things I never use. I'm so afraid of over heating the poor babe, my mother is the master overbundler so she's not

someone I can ask. Here are 2 things I think might work, I already got this but I think I'm also going to get this are those too warm for Texas January? I think they might work. I'm doing everything in my power not to buy this little ditty because corduroy on a newborn is not the best idea and only feeding my need to treat my baby like a cabbage patch kid who's outfit I used to change 8 times a day just to make myself squeal.

Queen in a House of BLUE!

2011-08-15T10:51:00.000-05:00

Team Peen One more time!!!! My littlest one is a baby boy!!! We are so excited! We didn't realize how much we loved the idea of 2 little boys 18 months apart until we found out this one is a boy! I love love love little boys (not that I wouldn't love a girl, I just don't have an clue on that subject) Little boys are made for their mommas. The sun rises and sets on me with Colin and it tickles me silly. Why everyone is reacting with "guess you have to have a 3rd!" is beyond me. Ummm...no I don't...like at all. I am well aware I have permission to have a 3rd if we decided but I'm 99.5% sure our family is complete. I am not big on being out numbered, 2 of us 2 of them-our chances are good in the event of an attack. I'm also not big on "needing" to dress something up frilly with a big oversized bow on top (I'd get a teacup Yorkie if that were the case) I think people are saying that to me because I'm such a girly girl. It's true, that I am, but I already have a girl to dress up, buy pretty things for and fret over...that girl is ME! and now I'll always have the pretitest things in the house and nobody will "borrow" any of my stuff in 13 years :) Now onto names...............

Jenna The Disney Star

2011-07-29T15:26:00.000-05:00

My poor husband only has a few things left in our house that are solely his, p0rn is one of them. Obviously he needs a new hiding place since next to Aladdin and Toy Story isn't working out. Best Part? He took the DVD and banged it on the TV demanding it be played. When I said "that's daddy's" he said "no, no, no" So I guess now Jenna Loves Diamonds belongs to Colin?

Birthday Part 2

2011-07-25T10:16:00.000-05:00

I think he hates icing like I do.

Then I had a toddler.

2011-07-25T10:07:00.000-05:00

My baby is no longer my baby. He is my toddler.
We had a great party for Colin, everyone turned out to celebrate his special day. Here are a few pictures of my tiresome Sunday.

One Year Pics (Lots of Pics-Sorry!)

2011-07-18T10:02:00.000-05:00

here are a few of his pictures. God bless that sweet photographer for putting up with this crazy kid. He made her life hell....but he's cute so he's usually forgiven.

Hi Friend

2011-07-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

My conniving child sweet talked my sister into taking him to build a bear (I think that's what it's called) and buying him an over priced stuffed animal. He looks sweet with it no? She said he picked the monkey out and chose his outfit. I'm sure he wanted the monkey to look nice for the torturing that would ensue later. When he got the monkey home he beat it within an inch if it's life, rode over it with his train, actually stomped on it for 15 minutes, threw it a 100 times across the room, then right before bedtime he stuffed it in the fireplace. He's just out of control.

Sneak Peak

2011-07-14T09:15:00.003-05:00

We have scheduled an elective u/s for August 12th at 16 weeks! I just need to get the shopping started, the economy needs me. After the scan we will wait and open the results on our anniversary dinner August 13th. It's strange to open it when A. We already thinks it's pretty much a boy & B. either way we're celebrating so it seems silly but truth be told I don't want to skimp on anything with #2 that I did for #1 (save the baby shower-I will NEVER do a 2nd baby shower as long as I live. Personal decision.) With Colin we had the lady put the sex on a piece of paper and we opened it when we got home. I wanted a private moment with my husband to do this rather than the medical room with a bunch of people staring at us. It was cute and sweet and we called everyone right after. This time I think we're taking the envelope to a boutique and having them wrap up an outfit and opening it over dinner. Still very private but my second kid won't be all "..thanks a lot jerks, it's not enough I wear hand me downs I don't even get the same considerations" kind of thing. If (wink) I'm having another boy I want to try hard to make him feel just as important as Colin, even though right now I CAN NOT imagine anyone being as important as his royal highness (seriously, the entire family treats him like Prince William)I guess that's a hurdle I have to learn to make my bitch.
PS- When you save a photo in your Picture Folder named "Penis Vagina Earrings" your life has taken a new direction.

Pretend Like You See It.

2011-07-13T10:56:00.003-05:00

Thats what I always do with U/S pictures. I never see it so I smile and say "ahhhh, so cute". Here, you can do that below with this picture of Squeaks. This kid has a huge noggin and small arms, so it might end up looking like Giada DeLaurentis or T-Rex. It's also measuring 3 days ahead which makes my vag angry again.
Bonus: I think a small penis was spotted. The lady wouldn't sign her life away on it but that's what is being guessed. Could I die over 2 little boys 18 months apart? I could. Cuteness overload.

Angry Vag

2011-07-12T12:08:00.002-05:00

I think my vagina is pissed off at me. I can imagine it would be a bit peeved....I mean yes I am pregnant but essentially it has to do all the work, i.e hold the flood gates back then push out a small human. For 2 days I feel that my vagina has grown a heartbeat. It's a pounding type pain (the humor of vagina + pounding is not lost on me but I'm trying to stay focused)I think I might need to ice my crotch down(attractive alert!) Maybe it's all the physical exercise I've been doing-read: eating Haagen Daaz Ice Cream Bars while watching the ridiculousness that is the Bacherlorette or maybe it's just that my undergarments are questionably tighter as of late?

Skeered.

2011-07-07T09:07:00.002-05:00

My NT Scan is next Tuesday July 12th. eeeeek. Having a surprise pregnancy means I have subjected my poor Fetus to unsafe meds, an MRI, 3 x-rays, 4 different unsafe prescription meds, and alcohol (thankyouverymuch) I have no idea what's in store with this scan but all I can do is hope for the best.

Here We Go Again......

2011-06-30T09:50:00.006-05:00

Wanna meet someone? This is Squeaks, the littlest member of our family coming your way January 24th.

::gulp::
As in January 24th making my kids 18 months apart January 24th.
I'm having all sorts of anxiety, fear, excitement, confusion about this. Life is funny.
Here is Colin in all his glory with his special T-Shirt.

"No pictures, I just got bad news!!!"

I was a Bully

2011-06-27T09:48:00.003-05:00

I think because I was a bully as a child I break every name down to how I can make fun of it. My sweet mother in law told me once she likes the name Liam if we have another boy.....ummm.......he'd be Liam Shank (say that fast) I named my blog that, I draw the name at naming my child that. My mother likes Harris. If shortened Harry Shank is the stuff of dreams to a bully. I would have salivated over that when I was a kid (who am I kidding, sometimes I'm still a bully) ALTHOUGH, if I wanted him to have a lucrative p0rn career Harry Shank is not too shabby.

Hey!!!!

2011-06-13T13:39:00.002-05:00

They make dogs my sized????!!!
(that expression on his face K-i-l-l-s me dead...my nephew in the back is so over him)

My Favorite Mug

2011-06-13T09:15:00.003-05:00

Here is a Snapshot of my desk this morning. I read about wedding dress & bouquet trends over my morning cup of Joe. Speaking of the cup, this is my favorite. I get to write whatever I feel, I can be very passive aggressive which usually not at all my style.
Today it says "Bloated" which I more than am but last week we had "STFU", "Shoot Me", "WTF?", and "Bitch". It's mostly to make my girls in the office laugh, but I find it very therapeutic.
PS-It must be said that as a wedding professional it is my expert opinion that whatever the contest is, Kate Middleton wins.

I HATE my Daughter in Law.

2011-06-03T10:29:00.000-05:00

I realize that sounds ridic. But I do, I hate her. I hate my future, possibly not yet born or conceived daughter in law because I know she will be a sluttina. My son looooves sluts. He flirts with slutty cocktail waitresses & hostesses at restaurants. Of all my friends he smiles the biggest for my friends with questionable morals and nipple bearing fashion choices. How does he know these girls are easy? Is it inbred with guys even at this young age that it's better to have bright red lips, tits galore, booty shorts & acrylic 5 inch nails?
I started thinking this because I put on shows for Colin all the time. I sing Disney tunes and do a diddy and it's a fine afternoon. Last week I put on the radio, he was playing on the floor and I was kind of cleaning his toys up. The song changes and being in the privacy of my own home I begin to sing along, "...hot and dangerous, if you're one of us then roll with us..." Normally Ke$sha is not my #1 choice (semi lie) but Colin went ballistic, squealing and laughing. Clapping and dancing. Next song Billie Jean by M Jackson (RIP) and the laughing and dancing stops and he goes back to eating random objects off the ground. The next day I test this theory, put him in the high chair and start wailing Adele. He stares at me and bats his eyelashes. I change the song "....You think I'm pretty without any make-up on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong..." he goes ape shit. See? he likes sluts. I have scientific evidence.
(note, I also started spanking myself and the mailman who couldn't see the baby and could only see me singing and spanking myself is judging me really hard)
I'm taping these pictures up in his crib tonight.

Cookie Vote

2011-06-02T16:57:00.001-05:00

Do you like A or B?? (Obvs the girly one would be made more masculine however masculine an owl cookie can be)

A:

B:

My Little Fish

2011-05-31T13:13:00.000-05:00

This kid loves water. He cries when you take him out (and put him in girly swim coverall). He loved being at his Oma & Grandpa's on the lake. He ate Texas BBQ, Swam in the pool and his own little pool, napped, ate some more, tortured the dog, tortured his uncle then slept a good long night. His life is so hard.

Imagine it without the scribble

2011-05-26T09:16:00.000-05:00

I have a semi-freaky stalker (not exaggerating) so I have to hide all the personals but in a Hoot Hoot nutshell this is my boy's invite:

(Note: dear stalker, you should come. It'll be nice. We have a full bar and my husband-who's 6'3 and good at it- and his best friends like to drink and are not above burying a dead body and returning in time for the smash cake)

That Face

2011-05-25T14:31:00.000-05:00

Remember when I wrote this?
http://mybabylambshank.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-day.html
and I said I dream of having a baby that makes this face?? Well he does and it melts my heart just like I thought it would and I give him everything he wants just like I said I would. Sometimes you really get everything you ask for, scary right??

Luxe Baby

2011-05-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

ok, I like my baby to smell good. I tried all the stuff they sell at the stores to wash him with and all if smells either medicinal or like baby powder grossness. I started washing him with my no-no not meant for baby body wash and I LOVE how he smells. I did it just twice at first then it became a heroin like addiction. I just ran out and bought 2 more bottles. My husband is going to slap me "Cops" style when he finds out but he smells fabulous. To be fair it says Coco on it so it was kind of meant for him since I call him Coco. Is this really so wrong?

First Birthday Planning!

2011-05-20T10:39:00.000-05:00

His first birthday is fast approaching (65 days but who's counting?) Speaking of Whoooo it will be ...drum roll.... an OWL theme (very 2011 of me, we actually chose it because he seriously make owl noises. Nothing but Whooo Whooo all day long-he also kind of looks like the pinata.) I am only beginning but below you will see 2 very important decisions I've made. The colors and the pinata ... this is Texas after all.

Tangerine

Lime

Turquoise

Lemon

I'm very citrusy lately.

The Pinata (but it will be in the aforementioned colors)

Guess Who Loves Greek Food?

2011-05-18T13:15:00.000-05:00

Hint: He's short, chubby and has an attitude.
Colin loooooved the Greek festival. He ate gyros, dolmades, spanikopita, and greek donuts. He was spent after a long day in the sun and bopping back and forth to the Greek music.
I think he was even eye balling my mom's Greek beer.

Easter...

2011-05-04T17:08:00.001-05:00

Waaaay too late and with waaaaay too many pictures.

monogrammed because we're Southern like that

one of 2 outfits...much to my husband's dismay

this is the casual outfit (don't judge)

hates the hat

C'mon it has little embroidered bunnies on it, could I really resist?

which he promptly covered with watermelon

with my mom or his "Mimi"

More pictures??? really momma?

this one is solely for his rehearsal dinner dvd....

is this edible?

Why do I do this?

2011-04-26T11:41:00.001-05:00

Why do I downplay how awesome he is and how great being a mother is when asked by someone who doesn't have kids? I always feel like they might secretly be infertile and I don't want to hurt their feelings. Mine were hurt so many times I would die if I ever did that to someone. I had a friend actually tell another friend of ours she thinks I'm not super happy being a mom!! I was just trying to talk about other things because she is in her 40's been married for 20 years with no children so I thought either A. She was infertile or B. She didn't want kids & her interest didn't include babble about my (perfect) kid. I can't win. I used to also cover my belly when single women looked at it because I was afraid they just had a loss or were having tttc.
I think I think too much.
He is magic. I love him too much for my own good.
I said it & now feel less guilty.

umm S. T. F. U

2011-04-18T11:37:00.000-05:00

I took Colin to mothers day out Friday and put his stuff in his assigned area and started to leave when a nasty mom yelps at me "..is this Colin's food?" holding a container of pasta. I said yes, didn't realize I put it in kidwithworstmadeupnameever's area. She said, yeah, I was going to say kidwithworstmadeupnameever would never be getting macaroni and cheeeeeeese (insert whiny baby voice to make her seem less judgemental) I grab the container, place it in Colin's area and start getting pissed. What the hell is the bitch's problem? Yes it was macaroni and cheese. Whole wheat macaroni, organic chicken, organic gruyere cheese, peas, carrots and broccoli. Eat that stupid bitch. I love how mom's judge other mom's for what they feed their kids. He's not yours, he's mine and even if it was kraft blue box mac and cheese (delicious) it is MY choice what I put in his mouth. What she doesn't know is that the Oatmeal, green beans, and pears she packs for her kid DAILY (*poor kid, no variety) gets tossed 95% of the time because he won't eat it and ends up stealing other kids puffs. I truly believe in not making my kid weird. Will he eat MC Donald's? Yes, of course. Everyday, no of course not. I want to bitch slap her and tell her THERE IS NO MAGICAL FOOD THAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR KID A SKINNY GENIUS stop with the bullshit. I hate people like her.
*Note: this is where my judgement comes in. If you feed your kid the same dry no flavor stuff daily I think he may grow up to be one of those boring date night missionary position husbands. Just sayin.

Don't Let Me Get Me.

2011-04-14T14:37:00.000-05:00

I am a frustrated food nerd.
No, not foodie. A Food Nerd. A foodie does things like watch food-n.etwork, do something at their cocktail party that involves goat cheese, maybe throw in some puff pastry, grow basil and Willi.ams Son.oma is their favorite store.
I am a food nerd. That's foodie to the umpth degree. On my days off I take my knives to the steel worker I met in culinary school to sharpen, I scour markets for ingredients I'm unfamiliar with and attempt to master them (latest victim: asafoetida!!) I read chef's books not cook books, I subscribe to Co.ok's illustrated not Bo.n Appeti.it. I write recipes & I'm intrigued by books like Food in History (nerd alert)

To be clear I am not a food snob. Not in the slightest. True, I do eat prosciutto & pie as my sweet n salty snack but I proudly eat tacos from against-health-code trucks on the side of the road, I eat McD.onlad's like a fat kid, frozen meals-non healthy ones please, and in no way shape or form force myself to buy only organic (I do try to buy local though) I'm just intrigued by food & how it connects everyone. ANYWAY, now that you're bored to death the whole point is that I think I'm letting my obsession make parenting difficult. I don't need to create special meals for him at every meal, yet I spend hours doing it. I make him chevre souffle omelets and french toast made with brioche and blueberries. He throws 60% of it on the floor (duh) and doesn't seem the least bit impressed....like his father.
I think my issue is that I am an extremist, I always have been and my family's lack of appreciation is disconcerting. Last night I decided to make Clam Chowder, I went to the high-end market for fresh clams, salt pork, and a few other specialty items. Then went to a market that had local produce for the veggies followed by a visit to the local bakery for bread bowls to serve the soup in. I then came home and made the stock from scratch, chopped & minced, finished the soup poured it proudly in the bread bowl and waited for my husband's reaction. He took a bite, kept 1/2 an eye on the golf game, made casual conversation then 1/2 way done he put it in the sink and said he was full and thanked me. What was I expecting? It was just clam chowder. A 6 hour/$32.00 Clam Chowder I set up for failure with too high expectations. I have no idea how to remedy this. How do all of a sudden learn to 30-minute cook and shop for groceries a week at a time. Is there a website or something? I guess I'm just not a great home cook. My menus take twice as much money & time as a restaurant would(and sometimes a complete FAIL if I can be honest) and it's not working.
Colin's breakfast costs me $26.00 (made 4 though-I kind of see that as a success) and took (if we include brioche time) 5 hours to prepare and I barely got to see him and spent 35 minutes cleaning. Can someone help me with a toddler menu/family planning website/book or something?? I do almost everything the hard way.
Here is my sweet prince during his over indulgent breakfast.

The Other Woman.

2011-03-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

He's seeing someone else.
My son longs for another.
He is obsessed with my sister. He leaps out of my arms for her, nuzzles her neck and tried to inhale her any chance he can.
He giggles when he hears her voice, and reaches for her at first glance.
She's a NICU nurse so I think she has an unfair advantage.
Am I jealous? Absolutely.
Do I love it? Very much. It made my "if I happen to die..." letter easier to write.
I am just boring mom, together they are Lala & Coco the dynamic Duo. I always knew having a child would change my life forever, I never considered how much it would change anyone else's.

An Actual Little Person

2011-03-11T10:00:00.001-06:00

He's a little boy over night. It's like the movie Big where I went to bed and had a baby and woke up to a 28 year old (ok, slight exaggeration) BUT still! Out of nowhere he said DADA yesterday. I can't wait until he tells me to stop putting sweater vests on him and that seersuckers are no longer acceptable.

The Skunk + The Rabbit

2011-03-11T09:48:00.000-06:00

At the ripe age of 7 months my child fell in love.
My partner in crime (fellow wedding planning person) had a little girl 7 weeks after Colin so it's really easy for us to fantasize about their future wedding. As of now we don't have to work hard to get them to like each other.
This is love at first (semi-blurry) sight.

...oh I know, I know! I'll let them pick their own cake! (Maybe from a list of 4 I supply?) Pray for the little girl that gets me as a mother in law.

And just like that....

2011-03-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

My perfect boy put it all together.
Crib is for sleep. While I was trying to figure out my approach and the way I was going to tackle this, he kind of decided in his own that bath at 7:15, floor time, bottle and bed by 8:00 is just fine with him and that he would stay in there NOT CRYING until 6:30 am. He's pure genius that kid. Life has been good (Knock on wood) in that department. I actually put him down, cleaned the kitchen up a little, packed his bag for the next day and even watched a pointless movie with the hubs (fell asleep half way through but valiant effort on my part.)

Ferber Method-Night 4

2011-03-04T10:06:00.000-06:00

FML.

I put him in the crib and he cried like a banshee. He cried and cried and when he was done he cried some more. After 18 minutes (felt like HOURS) I went in there and broke the Ferber rules. I rubbed his back, ssshhhhh'd, and stroked his (wet from hyperventilation) hair. He fell asleep calmly and woke up at 5:30. This morning he took my hand and rubbed his gums on it for relief. I looked in his mouth only to find one tooth 1/2 out and the other about to poke. Poor thing was teething and I made him cry. I think we're going to NOT pick him up from the crib but we will soothe him to sleep. At least for now. It feels right, I feel better.
This morning I call my mother to explain what happened. Let me preface this by saying my mother is the single most soothing, caring and over bearing woman on the planet. She not only runs but falls over herself to get to a crying a baby she doesn't even know at Target. To her cry it out means "neglect it out" so parents can laugh, drink and have a party in the living room. She also watches Colin 2 days a week so clearly she's going to have her say. I explain the last few days and she says: "...can I ask you a question? Who told you parenting was a 12 hour shift? Who promised you 8 hours of sleep? Who said you have the right to 12 hours a night away from your child without having to tend to needs? How dare he have the audacity to cry for his mother at 7 months right? I don't get American mentality on this. Sorry. I love you, you're my baby and if you cried I'd come running to hold you and make it better. That's the way I was when you were a baby, toddler, teen, and even now."
So then I cried it out.
Thanks Mom. She really means well but I feel like telling her "I understand that you think your way is right but do you not see how we are because of it? We're attached to your nipples STILL!" No joke my mother is going to Italy for 13 days in June and it is creating severe anxiety. My sister (32), my brother (28) and I (34 9/10) are having panic attacks thinking of her not being here for 13 days! Do I really want that for Colin? (<---- I know full well that CIO has nothing to do with this and it's not a cause & effect situation but still!)
Final decision: I'm just going with my gut, whatever that may be. My gut has never led me wrong (with a few exceptions: hair extensions, Z Cavaricchis, New Kids on the Block, 2 specific boyfriends, Patron shots, telling the Botox lady to "go for it" and gladiator sandals.)

Ferber (Kinda) Method-Night 3

2011-03-03T09:34:00.000-06:00

Night 3 was soooo much better. I did the cold turkey thing and as always from the beginning he was out like a light then 1 1/2 hour later he woke up screaming like a mad man (I think nightmare probably) he cried hard for 8 minutes and went abck to sleep. Through the night he woke up one more time at 3:30 fussed for maybe a minute or 2 then went back to sleep. At 6:05 true to form I went in there, picked him up gave him a bottle in my bed and we snoozed until 8. To gradually wean myself off that I'm going to push it to 6:30, then 7 then we'll see how I feel. I think maybe tonight will be even better since he is starting to get the idea that baby + crib = sleep and baby - momma = no need for panic.

Ferber Method-Night 2

2011-03-02T12:12:00.000-06:00

OK, so he's not a sleep genius.

He went down just like last night but 2 hours later is was a Cryapalooza. He cried, I waited 5 and went in, he cried, I waited 10 and went in then he cried for 13 and went to sleep. Not horrible but I cried pretty hard watching the monitor. I know CIO is a controversial subject but based on personal experience and friends having 3 year olds that wake up 3-4 times a night I think I need to walk through this fire and we'll all be better for it. I still picked him up at 5:45 and snuggled with him in my bed until 8. I'm pretty sure that's against the rules but I need it and even though I only work until 1:30, dropping him off at Mother's Day Out still feels like I have minimal time with him during the day. Maybe I'll stop the morning sweep up (probably not).
I did notice that when I go in for checks (Ferber) is fuels the fire-so to speak-so I may just try what my Pedi recommended which was total extinction. Let him CIO to sleep. We'll try that tonight and see how it goes. Truth be told if he wasn't so sweet, happy and affectionate in the morning I may have given up be he's so rested and happy I know this isn't totally wrong.
What do I know, I just do what feels right. We'll see how this turns out.

Ferber Method-Night 1

2011-03-01T09:49:00.000-06:00

I am set to tell the tale of a small sleepy boy and a big empty crib. Before I share I want everyone to keep in mind the following:

1. I am fully aware there are fluke nights and that this could be a freak occurrence.
2. My kid is like those jungle monkeys that cling to their moms fur. He is all up on me all the time. He went from sleeping in the rock n play, to sleeping in the rock n play holding my hand, to sleeping next to my in my arms clinging to my boobies.
3. He's got the loudest possible cry every known to mankind, hence our fear of the ol' Cry it Out.
4. I think he may be a genius in every sense of the word.

Here's how Night One went:

I get home at 5, we do daddy, mommy, baby play time, we eat dinner then hang out until bath time (7:15). I do all this carrying a pit in my stomach, each minute that goes by I think we're getting closer to bedtime! We're getting closer to my poor boy crying in his crib until he sleeps IF he ever does!
I start to do my checks. Baby monitor is mounted, checked, and ready. I have made my husband reluctantly buy a stop watch app on his phone so I can follow the Ferber chart to the letter, not a second over the 5 minutes will my boy cry before I go flying through the door "Mommy Dearest" style with facial mask on ready to "soothe". I even brought out Kleenex for the tears-mine, not his. I place the seahorse in the crib along with a tiny lamb lovey.
I'm ready. (lie)

So we bathe, book, and bottle in the glider. For a second I think, what's so wrong with just sleeping in the glider? I am chicken shit. The dreaded end-of-the-bottle gets closer and closer until he is finished. He opens his eyes like "OK Momma, let's hit the hay!" I hold him close, snuggle really hard and tell him "you have to sleep in the crib tonight Bubbie, it's your bed" I place his down in the crib, put the seahorse on, paci in, rub his back and leave.
The monitor stalking begins. I wait for him to cry. To get red faced, to wail with his incredibly roomy lungs for me.
I wait.
and wait.
and wait.
nothing.
He sleeps! 4 hours later I hear a stirring in the crib. He's awake!!!! He looks around, flips to his belly, places his paci back in his mouth and sleeps again! WTF is going on? He sleeps until 6! At 6 I needed to be soothed so I run in there to hold him (then he sleeps another 2 hours in my arms proving that I took him out of the crib too soon. I suck.) He slept 10 hours without eating, crying, or anything.
My kid is a miracle

(again, side note: I am fully aware tonight will suck balls and I will cry) but my fear is gone. He is capable of it and I've NEVER seen him happier than he was this morning. He was refreshed, rested and ready to play!

I'm sold. Although I know I'm sold because he skipped the cry portion of cry it out and nobody fears "It Out" they fear the Cry part... BUT I saw the basic concept of the Ferber method in action. He woke up in the exact situation in which he slept and since he had out himself to sleep he simply did it again.

Today is a good day.

Hello 7 month old........

2011-02-24T09:05:00.000-06:00

I can not believe this child is 7 months old. I feel like my vagina still hurts. 7 months is kind of hitting me hard because I feel like not I'm downhill on a slippery slope to toddler which is enough to make me cry in bed with ice cream watching a DVD of his baby pics. He is so cool though. He amazes me daily. Here's my show off list of things he does:

He gives kisses when asked
He shakes his head no to things he hates
He points to his belly when prompted (see pic)
He helps with laundry (see pics)
He smiles for a camera
He semi-quasi-crawls.
He flipped in every direction-some I didn't even know were possible
He stands in his crib (be still my heart)
He Still won't eat baby food but he chows on some non baby food
He feeds himself with the bottle (even the heavy glass)
He is a semi professional paper shredder
He can throw a paci at 90 mph (the major leagues need to see this move)
He is an excellent Golden Retriever torturer
He may be looking into dental school the way he can explore a mouth with his nub fingers

He's all around awesomeness personified.

Carrier Monkey.

2011-02-18T17:05:00.001-06:00

This sweet face is a mask. He is hiding Bronchiolitis. While I feel bad for him and want to punch sickness in the effing throat for touching my precious child, I am also a bit worried. You see how he's smiling while casually pretending to flip the pages in that Dr. Seuss book? That's him sick. How the hell am I ever supposed to know he's really sick if he has such a (clearlynotmygenes) sunny disposition? When I took him in to the ped's office, the doctor gave the side eye, told me he has bronchiolitis (side note: How awesome am I that I corrected her with an "lol, you mean bronchitis" like I'm the doctor?" she said "no, I know precisely what I mean. thank you" so I went with the ever brilliant "uugh, sah-rry" ::eye roll::) Anyway, he has that and has a mask breather thingie and still a giggle box who offers kisses on cue (<----yeah you can passout from cuteness here). Next time I take him smiling I'm sure there going to be all "how long has he had gonorrhea & syphilis?" because the kid is that hard to read.

To Bone or Not to Bone.

2011-02-15T10:08:00.000-06:00

I am off birth control all together.
eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk.
The only thing that I keep focusing on is that I am challenged (fertility-wise) so I don't think we're getting knocked up anytime soon. That along with our not-so-active sex-life mixed with me being dead-tired all the freaking time is a good indicator that when we're ready for #2 we'll still need to do all that OPK, finger-bang for mucus, schedule sex thing.
But I'm still off birth control which makes my nipples twitch with unease. Ok, let me talk this out. IF I get pregnant it will not be the end of the world, I know that. I'll be 2 and done and 35 (!!!!!!!!!!!) and we'd be fine. We have the money, the marraige, the house, it's not like I'm going to be on Teen Mom........buuuuuuutttttt I only want 2 so shouldn't I be soaking Colin in and enjoying every little milestone without begging for a nap, hurling in the toilet or being worried about a pregnancy while he's all "mom! mom! look at me! I'm trying to walk and you're passed out on the couch!"
ugh. I'm over-thinking this. I'm probably even more infertile than I was before, older, and I barely have sex. I shouldn't be even worrying about this. I think the fact that I'm a loser and have yet to sleep train my son and he's the only man I sleep with definitely puts the nail in that coffin. I'm going to promise to sleep train him! I will definitely start next week!!! (-------> possible lie)

Colin.....Cullen?

2011-02-08T10:36:00.000-06:00

Can someone explain why my kid has 2 bottom teeth then out of nowhere yesterday he sprouted 2 top ones....but NOT THE MIDDLE 2????? He has fangs!!! He looks like a mix between some freak in twilight and a drunk homeless old man. I'm slightly more upset than I care to admit. This is prime picture time and I'm not thrilled about his new dental venture and the new desire to smile with his whole mouth open.

Penis Penis

2011-02-03T11:50:00.000-06:00

Lazy Afternoon at the casa usually leads to very intelligent conversations with my husband:

Hubs: Are we obligated to name our second son (side note: Guess the idea that there is a 50% chance-IF we have another-that it could be a girl is out the window) an Irish name like Liam or Gavin or O'Mally?

Me: No, we're naming him John Thomas and calling him Jon Jon.

Hubs: umm no we're f**king not. Why would I ever do that?

Me: Because:
A. I'm obsessed with the name, everything about it. Even if everyone called him JT and only I called him Jon Jon
B. Anyone that knows me knows my complete and utter love for John F Kennedy JR (Jon Jon) and how I've always wanted a Jon Jon of my own. (PS as a Republican I try to hide my love for a Kennedy but I don't think it matters since it's purely sexual)

Hubs: really? Jon Jon? John Thomas? really? You do know John Thomas is a euphemism for Penis right?

Me: Huh? It means Penis? Since when? ::runs to google:: Daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnn It means Penis!!!!!!!!!!

Hubs: Hahahahahaha! Jon Jon....Penis Penis...hahahhahahah!!!!! John Thomas is in the 97th percentile........hahhahahah.....John Thomas is really long and chubby.......hahahahahhah.........John Thomas is growing so fast......

Me: Sad :-(..........and he goes on and on while I quietly mourn the death of the name I have loved since I was 12.

From the ever reliable Urban Dictionary:

1. John Thomas
The penis. Usually used in British English, but also sometimes in US.
Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ' Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn't it frightfully good to have-it-on / It's swell to have a stiffy / It's divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife's-best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don't take-it out in public or they'll stick you in the dock and you won't come back .'

2. John Thomas
Euphemism for male genitals.
"My, what a John Thomas he has."
penis john thomas wang schlong cock

3. john thomas
male organ (mostly used in England)
let me introduce you to John Thomas

He May Look Nothing Like Me But He Got My Palate!

2011-01-31T11:57:00.000-06:00

Coco may be the spitting image of his father but he definitely has my taste in food.
I have the best collection of baby food anywhere. Fruit, vegetable, jarred, pouch, organic and non, meat, no meat, smelly, green, chunky........you get the idea. He's NOT having it. He absolutely refuses to eat pureed anything. He will not take a spoon to save his life thankyouverymuch.
Now, give him a piece of steak, meatball, cheese, blackberry, broccoli, anything he can hold and you've got a party. I feel like I'm the accidental baby led weaner. If he can feed himself & it's an actual recognizable food he's game-if you try to feed him anything mushy on a spoon he acts like you're force feeding him angry-PETA-goose-fois-gras style. Cereal? hahahhahahahahhaha. lolsies. Amateur hour.
He is a foodie, like his momma. What can I say?

Colin vs Blackberries.
They never had a chance.

Momma + Monster Road Trip

2011-01-28T15:32:00.000-06:00

I'm taking my boy to Austin this weekend and leaving the Hubs behind. We're going to hit all the Food trucks on South Congress (maybe Hey Cupcakes Airstream twice) shop, go out to eat, and hang out with my bestie! Hope everyone has a great weekend and wish me luck driving with the Monster!!

Father-Son Advice

2011-01-27T12:42:00.000-06:00

My husband has random islands of genius in his sea of ridiculousness. I know it sounds rude but he is responsible for some of the best head scratchers of all time.

This week's father-son moment:

::While trying to contain a squirmy baby and have him hold still:: "...c'mon dude, it's just a bib. Hang on a sec.....hold on!....Why do you hate bibs? Here's the thing, bibs are like wedding bands. They are uncomfortable at first and you want to rip them off, but eventually you get used to them and realize that wedding rings and bibs serve a purpose. They keep gross things off you so you don't get dirty....even...if...you really....um...like to get dirty you just can't.

Me: face-palm at nursery doorway.

Happy 1/2 Year Birthday Colin!!!

2011-01-24T14:13:00.000-06:00

How did that happen? How did I blink and end up a mother of a 6 month old? (6 month going on 6 years by the way, the kid is out of control) I feel like I was begging for mercy and for someone to pull him out of my vag yesterday. He has changed our lives in every possible way. The way we live, love, think, plan, everything is different and all by the hands of something 6 months old-I have canned goods older than him.

I'm not a big public express-your-emotion type of person, but.....I managed to keep him alive for 6 months so you're subject to my sappy love letter.

Colin,

Thank you for looking at me in a way nobody ever has. Like I'm the only person in the world and like I'm covered in glitter, diamonds and all sort of sparkly stuff because your eyes actually twinkle when you see me. Thank you for reaching for me when I come close, it tells me I wasn't the only one aching to be held. Thank you for fussing until I sing you to sleep, it makes me feel like I have a special talent. Thank you for being such a cheap laugh, it makes me feel really funny. Thank you for smiling through tears when I smooch your neck, it makes me feel like my kisses have special powers. Thank you for slapping my hand away when I fix your hair or wiggling out of my arms to get on the floor, it makes me feel like I've already taught you independence. While were talking about Independence let me just tell you son that it's one of the most important things anyone can have. The ability to be self sufficient and believe in the decisions you make will get you out of trouble more times than not. I hope you always exert your Independence with grace and respect. Maybe you already know this about your momma but I have always been very independent and never felt like I ever needed anyone.....until of course November 24, 2010 when I went to my 6 week ultrasound.
That being said, thank you for keeping me up all night screaming, babbling or pulling my hair. Thank you for the vomit and blow-outs. Every time I clean you up or shush one of your bratty fits I always think to my self "this is a privilege" being your mother is a privilege and I will work hard the rest of my life to be worthy of it and worthy of you.

All my love,

your momma.

6 months.............

I swear his eyes are bigger than his mouth.

....see ya momma.

C-Monster

2010-12-29T14:20:00.001-06:00

I don't know what the future holds for this boy but I can tell you with full commitment that this child is going to be a handful. He has a tenacious side to him that scares me a bit. If you put a bib on him he yanks it off with anger, if you put him in a seat he fights to get out, if you brush he's hair to the side he undoes it, if you kiss him he actually wipes it off.
He is a force.
He is not a shy shrinking violet.
He takes after his mom.
Who took after her mom.
I rock Colin every night in the glider and I wonder if he'll ever remember these quiet end of the day minutes. My mother wore a necklace when I was a child, it was a cluster of grapes and each individual grape was a little diamond. Even now when I close my eyes I can still remember my chubby fingers playing with it until I was passed out. The necklace and the smell of Opium perfume will always remind me of my mother rocking me to sleep. Everything that reminds me of her is so soothing to me, like a chicken soup corner of my mind or something.
Then I worry, I change perfumes daily and other than my wedding rings there isn't one piece of jewelry I wear everyday so I worry that I'm not burrowing myself deep enough into his memory. Stupid right? Every night I sing Bye Bye Blackbird or The Very Thought of You to him while he bathes, then I wonder if he's getting bored of the repeat songs and wants a little Gaga thrown in there? Maybe these things I'm doing are making him some weird angry little person? This stuff is hard. How do I know if I'm doing things right or wrong? If he's bored or making a memory? I guess I worry so much because most men who have issues almost always blame their mother. Am I going to be the reason he needs a therapist?
How do I know something I'm doing isn't slowly building a little monster?

Coffee Stains

2010-12-21T10:11:00.000-06:00

If I had an autobiography it would be titled Coffee Stains because that's my life. I am perpetually covered in coffee stains from being a massive hurry all the time. People need things from me ALL.THE.TIME. I am having a particularly hard day today being a working mom. I won't lie, it's very demanding at times and (embarrassingly) often I feel like if I allowed it, my will would let me float up, up, and away into a Calgon commercial circa 1988. Take last night/today for example:

Pick up Little Monster from my mothers at 5:15 (get side-eyed and judged for only packing him 2 changes of clothing and 24 ounces of milk-thanks mother)

Get Home at 5:35, change his saliva riddled shirt (thanks Teething gods) and diaper

Leave at 6:05 to Camera Store to pick out my own Christmas present (Guess people think I no longer believe in Santa)

They are out of the Canon Rebel t2i bundle....really? How many $1000 + cameras are people really buying and if it's a significant number why aren't you keeping them in stock? dicks. Sure, Cameradouche, we'll return Christmas eve with our infant. PS I think you lick balls for having the single worst store set-up for a stroller.

6:25 Total and complete meltdown by the monster. Complete with snot, tears, thrashing, breathus-interuptus (my technical term for the merit less tantrum catching his breath), face scratching, toy throwing, and squealing.

6:35 Chicken McNuggets, dinner of champions.

7:00 Bath & book time

7:30 PJ & Lotion

7:45 Rock, Rock, Rock, shshshshshshh, Rock, Rock, Rock, Fuss Fuss Fuss, Cry Cry Cry, Rock Rock Rock.

8:00 Get frustrated then remember when I wanted to have a baby really badly so Rock Rock Rock some more.

8:15 Crib.

8:30-11:30 Stalk the monitor because I'm not used to the crib.

11:30 Little Monster's first wake up, make a bottle, bring him to bed with me and both fall asleep.

6:30am Wake up for the day. Crib and Projector Mobile time-meantime pack his diaper bag since he is going to my sisters for the day.

7:00 Dress him, Jumperoo time while I dress myself.

7:15 Pack the car with Dog (going to groomers), bags, dry cleaning, then baby.

7:20 Starbucks

7:30 Groomers (spill coffee)

7:40 Dry Cleaners (spill coffee again)

7:50 Finally at my sisters. Hand over the baby for much needed aunt/nephew bonding time.

8:05 at work, one more coffee spill carrying my stuff into my office.

Sooooo now it's 10:46 and so far I have drank 4 cups of semi spilled coffee, dealt with 1 bride who "didn't realize her cousin had booked the same venue as hers 6 years ago and now wants to drape the entire thing to avoid copy catting", 2 "we're in town for Christmas so we want to go over all the details for our November wedding" meetings coming in, and 1 "why didn't my wedding planner get everyone dancing at my wedding" letter I have to respond to.

Yes it's only 10:46.

Today life as a working mom is hard and I am tired....then I look at his ridiculous toothless smile at my desk and I feel guilty for even complaining about stupid details and can't wait to see him again.

Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Shank Family Holiday Card 2010

2010-12-11T17:07:00.000-06:00

Do you want to eat him?
He's delicious.

PS-He also met Santa

2010-12-10T10:13:00.001-06:00

Colin thinks Santa is the coolest thing ever.

In My Defense

2010-12-10T09:42:00.000-06:00

Coco has been such a handful lately! I know I keep meaning to update but my lord it takes everything out of me to keep up with this kid and the endless corporate holiday parties. Back to shortcake: That kid is soooooo funny. He's a total laugh whore and social butterfly. I love that he is so good natured but when I wake up in the middle of the night and he's staring at me with his drunk toothless smile I want to bite his face. He is still in the weird sleep regression thing I guess. he wakes 2 times a night to eat and after the first feeding he stays in bed with us which he could not love more. I dread January when we have to sleep train. After research I have decided on the Ferber Method. I know it's not for the faint of heart and that the baby will cry and he doesn't want to be left alone in his crib but I have 2 things to say about that: 1. We will both be happier for it. He will sleep better and DEAR-GOD-SO-WILL-I! I know he's capable of it, I have just let him develop these bad habits. 2. Of course he doesn't like/want to be Ferberized, BUT he doesn't get to make the decisions. I am the parent/adult so I will decide what's best for us. If I let him choose I would have a non-vaccinated, non-circumsiced baby that rides in cars on my lap and licks carpet -----> those are all things he would choose. Thank goodness I'm in charge. (**note: if you are anti circumcision more power to you, we are pro)
Anyway, I'll be sure to document the Ferber process just so I remember it for the next kid.....I'll have in 2015!
Here are some pics of his 18 lb 7 oz, 97th percentile hotness (sorry for the pic overload):

I think I may need a night nurse.

2010-11-08T14:50:00.000-06:00

Or rum in his bottle at the least.
He won't sleep.
He was great, sleeping through the night, doing 11 hours like a champ-we were Golden....then the last 4 days happened. I have luggage under my eyes that are definitly not designer. I hope this phase passes because he is going to get a lump of coal for Christmas at this rate.

$35.

2010-11-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

Is how much I spent on Polo outfits until I realized Marshall's carried them for $14.
He owns 30 of them. I could have saved enough to buy one sweet pair of Miu Mius.
Story of my life.

I was meant to have a C-Section. (the birth story)

2010-11-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

But my doctor is a hippie bastard.
So get this crap. Throughout my entire pregnancy I was so anxious about when this little sucker would come. I wanted a Leo so bad but my due date (July 21st) was just 2 days shy of being a Leo. I had an irrational fear of Cancers due to someone awful (rhymes with Shlamber) and Lindsey Lohan. I put up a sign at my desk that had the words "Focus Date July 24th" on it. Little did I know I would be attempting my own c-section at home by week 37. At the end I could have cared less about Cancers, Leo, any of that I just wanted to rip the monster out of me.
My due date came and went and I finally had to schedule an induction for Saturday July 24th. I was kind of bummed that I didn't go into labor but I dealt. The night of July 23rd Mr Shank and I went to the mall and the minute I stepped out of the car and into a store I knew something was amiss. My lack of accepting his offer of "get something nice for yourself babe, you deserve it" clued Mr Shank in that something was off as well. We went straight home and I went straight into the shower to shave my lady bits. It's no secret that I shaved my vag into a nice Abe Lincoln and had cut marks all around but my back ache made it impossible to care. I went to bed since my induction was the next morning at 5am. Sleep was impossible because I WAS IN LABOR! I rolled and grunted like a pig for a couple of hours then went into the bathtub while my husband called the hospital. They asked how far along my contractions were and I told him there was no beginning or end so they told us to come in asap. We went in at 2am finally and I got situated in the room so they could "assess". I was only TWO centimeters dilated.
I'm that girl.
Since my induction was 3 hours away they let me stay but I got all the side-eyes and whispers you could imagine for being a drama llama. The rest of the process went pretty fast, I got an epi at 4cm (which was awful! I felt it scrape against my bone!) then I was dead weight waist down for a while. Finally it came time to push. Mind you I'm not a "have to push this out of my vag" kind of gal, I would have taken the c-section at any point. My doctor comes and and "breaks the news to me" My baby is sunny side up and military chin. Essentially, he is stuck ....behind bone or something. I give him the "oh well, let do it sunroof style" he says NO! He wants me to push through it! WTF???? Suck it! No way! I was horrified.
Then my epi stopped working.
I knew something was wrong when I could feel my legs and move them around but it was too late, everyone was saying push, I did, after 2 hours and ripping from the rooter to the tooter Colin came out screaming his ass off.
I felt everything.
I should have gotten the c-section but that damn freak wouldn't do it. Whatever, I'm still a little bitter, I worked really hard and it was not pleasant. I would have been fine keeping my make-up on, hair in a cap, smiling at the camera in the operating room rather than looking like a cave woman and feeling a 8lb 3oz melon push out of my whoo ha.
Moral of the story: When you're as powerful as I seem to be you have to be careful putting innocent things like a focus date on a sheet of paper. I will try to use my powers for good rather than evil but I make no promises.

............but he's cute, no? Worth the vag tears.

::sneaks in:: oops.

2010-10-30T23:03:00.000-05:00

In my defense they do call the first 3 months the FOURTH trimester, I just didn't realize I would be in hibernation with my kid. I have a birth story that I will post soon and many Colin-related stories. This is the obligatory apology post and an explanation. My little journally blog will now become a mommy blog (that was the plan after all)and I want to send the link out to family to read so I went and cleaned up some of the posts that were gross or had too much baby making details so I could send it out and still maintain a slight shred of dignity. I will post more often since I need a place to show off my mad mammarazzi skills.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Still Here.

2010-07-21T10:19:00.000-05:00

Yep. Still here-Fort Knox.

Anyone? Police? Doctor? Mom? Mr. President?

2010-07-19T11:49:00.000-05:00

Can someone help me? I am in complete misery. I haven't slept in 3 nights, and when I napped for an hour yesterday it was in a sweaty leather recliner. My belly is turtle shell hard, and my vagina and rectum feel like they're about to give out under the weight of a boulder. I hate that I'm one of those girls that's "done" and complaining about pregnancy but I am. I really really am. I can't take anymore. I get induced Saturday if he hasn't come on his own but when you don't want to be pregnant another second 5 days seem forever away.
I'm going to make lasagna to make myself feel better.

I'm Heartless

2010-06-25T11:49:00.001-05:00

I actually spoke to this lobster for a good hour or so before our friendship took a sad turn.

Bad Bad Things

2010-06-09T15:02:00.000-05:00

This is currently my life in a photo. That, my friends,is a bowl of melted cheese, with mushrooms, red bell peppers and caramelized onions. I ate it with a SPOON and crusty Italian Bread. I felt no shame or guilt. Even when the oil dripped off my spoon and onto my shirt which I was wearing with no pants or undies.
PS-I read my husband's Playboy while doing it rendering me the most ladylike person in the south. Bowl of Cheese + Spoon + Playboy + Wife Beater Tank (torn)= my mother beaming with pride.

PS-I once taught an etiquette class to 5th graders as part of a volunteer program...the irony.

Large and In Charge.

2010-06-02T10:19:00.000-05:00

How far along? 33 Weeks! ::eyes roll back and passes out::
Weight gain/loss: Up thousands. I stopped counting long ago.
Maternity clothes? Why are Maternity Shirts too small? Should they (by definition) cover the pregnant belly?
Stretch marks? STILL NO!
Sleep? No, gone, gone gone.
Best moment this week? Playing "which body part is this"
Movement: All the time, every day, it's like I have a monster in there
Food cravings: Steak, Ice Cream, and Beer?
Gender: Peeeeenis
Belly button in or out? half in, half out, weird looking
What I miss? walking around without hip and joint pain-but it's not that bad.
What I am looking forward to? My 3D scan June 12th and my shower June 13th!
Weekly wisdom: If he doesn't move for 5 minutes it's not an ominous sign. Stop being negative
Milestones: He's almost ready!

You Know When You Fall in Love with Your Husband All Over Again?

2010-05-24T10:22:00.000-05:00

When he pretend burps, diapers, and shhhuuushhhes a doll in a Newborn class, all the while making that sweet "I'm doing it!" face like he's so proud to have gotten the doll to quiet down and take the bottle. LOVE him! It's so sweet I could shmoop his face all day thinking about it. My kid is so lucky, if he grows to be 1/2 the man his father is he's already miles ahead of the rest.

Can Someone Please Explain??

2010-05-20T09:02:00.000-05:00

Why do I have Mickey Mouse hands? Why are they so swollen? My hands and feet are holding enough water to drown a desert town. I don't get it! Look at my gigantic midsection/ass. It's comical. Being this size coupled with being pasty white is enough to make me lock myself away with black out drapes eating pounds of bacon and peanut butter Elvis style.

"..........I know why you got fat......."

2010-05-19T08:07:00.000-05:00

These are the sweet words spoken by my nephew while I was MID BITE on THAT dainty ladylike piece of cake. See the swollen fat hand inching in for another bite? Yes, that's my Michelin hand waiting for him to finish his wise-beyond-9 years-of-age statement. He finished with this:
Jake: "...Want em to tell you?"
Miss Piggy: "I don't see why you wouldn't. Why stop now? Enlighten me"
Jake:"......you got fat because you're growing a person so it's OK. Also you didn't used to be fat so it's not like you are going to stay this way.....are you?"

And there you have it, the million dollar question. Am not going to stay this way, am I?

I suck.

2010-05-04T09:52:00.001-05:00

I am such a bad blogger, I suck. To be fair I have been doing very important things.....like getting ginormous and debating picking things up that I drop. I have also been attempting to sleep 18 hours a day, waking only for feedings, and on occasion getting massages. It's a tough life.
Seriously though, everything is getting harder. I have no torso so everything is popped out like a basketball and I feel like I'm dragging ass everywhere. I have some great pics for the nursery coming this weekend when things come in (squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so excited!) and I have to show off his extensive Ralph Lauren wardrobe, it's seriously sick. I can not believe how soon he'll be here and how awesome it will be to smoosh his little face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I Lied To Myself About.

2010-04-13T09:58:00.000-05:00

1. That this would not be my breakfast-EVER during my pregnancy. They say everything is bigger in Texas but my plate is Ri-dic.
2. That I would do Pregnancy Yoga. I have DVD's and classes-still nada.
3. That I would wear cute little maternity things at home and not be a sloppy sweat wearing mess with a wife beater that's too short...possibly with ice cream stains-Fail.
4. That I would stop drinking coffee. Fail again...not only fail, fail as I TYPE THIS.
5. That I wouldn't worry about kicks and movement bc there is nothing I can do about anything. Flash to last night whining at my husband "......buuuuuuut he's not even moooooooooving....(cue crocodile tears)"
6. That I wouldn't wear flip flops. Yeah, no.
7. On that note: That if I did fail and wear flip flop I would have perfectly perfect toes manicured like a foot model. Yeah, I choose sleep. Every time.
8. That I wouldn't be that cliche that eats ice cream for sport. I have a freezer so stocked with ice cream and novelties I could be one of those "700lb woman trapped in house for 20 years" people and still have some to spare.
9. That I wouldn't ever complain about being uncomfortable or fat because I would just be so happy about being pregnant. Truth: I whine all the time then feel guilty.
10. That I would happily keep track of my pregnancy with pictures, my journal, notes, and letters. Ummm... no. I can;t seem to remember to do any of that!
Now I feel guilty writing all that down and still won't do anything to change anything. It's a vicious cycle.

The One Where I Freaked out.

2010-04-09T11:20:00.000-05:00

I feel him move everyday. I feel him hiccup, squirm, wiggle away from noise, press his foot as hard as he can against my bladder (just to make himself laugh I'm sure). He owns roughly 600 articles of clothing. He has a crib...at my house! He has a name and embroidered things and shoes.
Yet for some reason, one box of Pampers freaks me out. I put it on top of a bin and stared at this box for about 45 minutes. Breathing heavy...slightly shaking.....doubting everything I ever thought I was sure of.
He's coming. He and I will have intertwined lives forever. I'll be his mother forever.
He's really coming and I will have to grow up.
::cue tears, convulsions, and cleaning spree::

25 Weeks!!

2010-04-07T14:52:00.000-05:00

I am Gi-Nor-Mous.
I do that fat breath thing at night.
I sneak food in my room.
I do a 3 point turn to turn around.
My ass is confused and thinks it's pregnant too. (take a look)

How far along? 25 Weeks
Weight gain/loss: Up, Up, And Awayyyyyyyyy
Maternity clothes? Yes, and even some maternity shorts are short.
Stretch marks? Still No, Very Worried.
Sleep? No. Gone. Pretty Sure for a Long Time.
Best moment this week? Having My Husband's Hand Kicked.
Movement: Yes-I should be slapped for purposefully drinking a coffee, eating snickers, and ice cream just to entertain myself with movement.
Food cravings: Milk, Caesar Salad, Steak, Cheese, Cheese and Cheese.
Gender: Baby Boy!
Belly button in or out? Still In.
What I miss? Sleep, long walks, normal sex.
What I am looking forward to? Seeing my Best Friend April 23rd!
Weekly wisdom: He doesn't have to move every second....
Milestones: Reaching 24 weeks!

And to top it off........

2010-04-01T15:18:00.001-05:00

My baby boy's crib is here!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday To Me!

2010-04-01T13:55:00.000-05:00

I am 34 today.
I used to lie about my age-for real, like lie to people and take a few years off. I'm unbelievably immature and don't (at least I don't think) look my age so it's been quite easy. NOT THIS YEAR! This year I am proudly 34, for the first time in years I am sans Botox (not normal for me since I could live on this stuff I love it so much-when tastefully done, not Nicole Kidman style), I am not obsessed about dieting, I am not crazy type A wedding Nazi (my staff would beg to differ), I am (the shock) brunette!, am PREGNANT and no longer riding the bitter wave of infertility ( though I still have that ugly taste in my mouth from it) It is the best year ever. Best birthday ever.
My in laws are coming to town for Easter, they haven't seen me since I was 10 weeks along, and my family will be joining us for Easter as well. I mentally compare my birthday this year to my birthdays before and can't believe how much has changed. It used start with me searching for the perfect (inappropriate) outfit, getting my hair freshly highlighted, gathering my friends at a trendy restaurant, getting too drunk to stand and going to the newest cool bar.
Not this year.
Today I had a cupcake eating contest with myself.
Hey, at least I won?

Is it bad?

2010-03-29T10:06:00.000-05:00

That I have made my unborn fetus of almost 24 weeks an Easter Basket? I'm very confused on when to celebrate these things. Like Father's Day, do I ignore my husband (who with every ounce of his being feels like a father right now) or do I do it right next year when his son is actually there and not swimming in utero? I, for one, don't want to celebrate Mother's Day until my child is in my arms. Maybe I'll just take it one day at a time and see how he feels about it. Meanwhile, I think Colin's semi-quasi-first Easter Basket won't go to waste. Somehow or another I'll get that candy in his belly, even if it means being sacrificial and eating it myself.

C o l i n

2010-03-25T09:41:00.000-05:00

I like names with meanings. Nothing against the Ryder's of the world but it's always been my thing. We are naming our son Colin Matthew.
Colin-Meaning "the Victor" <--- How is that not totally badass?
Matthew-Gift of God <----- Which he totally is.
Another reason? It's Irish like my husband.
Final Reason? See Pic. Do you know one single uncool Colin?

23 Weeks!!!!

2010-03-24T09:24:00.000-05:00

How far along? 23 Weeks!
Weight gain/loss: Up by about 7
Maternity clothes? yes dear god yes.
Stretch marks? Not yet, starting to worry about them, they should be here soon. I hope they are traveling safely.....
Sleep? still in love with it.
Best moment this week? finishing up purchases for the nursery!
Movement: Yes-every day. It;s glorious.
Food cravings: salt & vinegar chips WITH Cherry Garcia-fat kid on board.
Gender: BOY BOY BOY!!!
Belly button in or out? in but getting shallow.
What I miss? this time of year, I miss eating oysters at happy hour.
What I am looking forward to? Setting up the nursery and getting things off my list
Weekly wisdom: Don't stress about time lines.
Milestones: Daily Kicks!

Blah Blah Blah

2010-03-23T10:35:00.000-05:00

That's me explaining why I've been soooooo busy. I think the main focus here should be why I'm 800 lbs and unable to see my genitals. Sad state of affairs. Since I haven't updated in so long, I do want to shout from the roof tops that my spawn is A BOY!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more excited about that. I know all that talk about as long as it's healthy and all that jazz is true but I also know that deep down in small places people with IF and PG Loss don't talk about there is a smidge of preference. My smidge had a penis. I've always wanted a little boy. I have to pinch myself daily for getting my heart's desire. My prayer of "Dear god, please, please, please let me get everything I want" is actually working!

19/20 Week (again, lazy)

2010-03-03T09:01:00.000-06:00

Whaaaaaaaaaaaatttttt!!! I'm half way done!!!!!!
How far along? 20 Weeks Today!
Weight gain/loss: Still up but now by 5.5 lbs.!!!!!!!!
Maternity clothes? yes to all of it
Stretch marks? I sense they will be here in weird places soon.
Sleep? The snoogle can bites my ass.
Best moment this week? First Kick!!!! It was all it's rumored to be. So fun.
Movement: Yes, yes!! It feels like I have an alien within.
Food cravings: Lemon sorbet, steak, chocolate, and a glass of pinot grigio.
Gender: flip flop from one day to the next. I have embraced that I really just don't know.
Belly button in or out? in, buried in fat.
What I miss? comfy sleep.
What I am looking forward to? Genital sighting March 8th!!!!!! I'll know in 5 days if I'm having a little boy or a little girl!
Weekly wisdom: The milestones will come, you're not behind if they don't happen at the same time as other people.
Milestones: It kicked me!

18 Weeks!

2010-02-17T12:31:00.000-06:00

How far along? 18 Weeks Today!
Weight gain/loss: Up still 3.5 lbs.
Maternity clothes? yes to bottoms not completely needed for tops.
Stretch marks? Not yet.
Sleep? getting harder since I'm a stomach sleeper through and through and now I feel like I'm sleeping on an orange
Best moment this week? Tap Tap, I feel like there is goldfish in there.
Movement: there is something brewing....
Food cravings: Sushi, red wine, blue cheese....you know, everything I can't have (in public).
Gender: Now kind of girl...a little. I have no idea.
Belly button in or out? in there somewhere.
What I miss? Not having people wonder fi I'm fat or pregnant.
What I am looking forward to? Big U/S March 8th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weekly wisdom: There are plus and minuses to having boys and girls...you'll love whatever you have.
Milestones: Popping soon! (hopefully)

ok, ok, ok....

2010-02-15T15:22:00.000-06:00

I feel something.
Can't say what it is but it feels very foreign, bubbly, and reptilian. I wouldn't say butterflies, I'd definitely say snake.
Pretty sure it's my spawn poking me & truth be told, it's a little freaky. Hopefully it will turn into full on kicks soon so it doesn't feel like I'm a carnival freak in the "watch the lady swallow a snake whole" (<---insert jokes here)cage.

Crap!

2010-02-13T10:34:00.000-06:00

I was nominated for an award by Ibis ( http://ibistheunicorn.blogspot.com/ ) and I just now noticed. I'll fill in as much as I can since I don't really know 7 bloggers and I don't really find 7 things about me interesting. But here is what I have:

1. I have an odd fear of large water life. Even Dolphins and cute stuff. I find myself hyperventilating at Sea world, looking at large fish tanks at Chinese restaurants and unable to read books like Moby Dick, Aladdin or Pinocchio where there is whale involved-no matter how friendly his character is written. Shark week is catastrophic in our home.

2. I could adopt or give birth and really feel the same way about the child-truly. I wanted to adopt since I was little but I married someone who doesn't have adoption in his heart-which is fine. To each his own, but I honestly can't imagine feeling closer or more affection for a child I grew & birthed than one god picked to be in my life. It's the same to me.

3. I have trust issues so I have like 4 friends. I wish that was different and I wasn't always waiting for the other shoe to drop with people.

4. I graduated from culinary school with no intention of every becoming a big time chef. When I imagined myself using my kitchen skills it was never in a 5 star New York restaurant, it was always in an apron, with my kid, teaching him or her how to cook and making it "our" thing.

5. I think gay guy friends are a woman's secret weapon to happiness. It's true friendship and companionship without ulterior motives of any kind.

6. I thank god every day for my baby. Not a day goes by that I forget.

7. I married up. I married someone better than me, more caring than me, more honest than me, more forgiving than me, more liked than me, more gentle than me, more human than me. I did it on purpose. It was a well devised plan from day one. Since the day we met. In 2003 I walked into a martini bar and walked out with the man that would become my husband. He was a friend of a friend and we all left to go to another bar, it was raining badly so as soon as we got outside everyone scattered to their cars. I was running slowly because (of course) I was wearing 4 inch heels and this person I didn't know, stopped, reached back and took my hand and helped me to the car. That's been the base of our relationship ever since. Him getting soaked helping me in the rain....

I don't really have many people to nominate that haven't already been nominated because I'm tardy to the party. So if you haven't been nominated I nominate you....does that count?? Hope so.

1st Belly Pic

2010-02-11T09:05:00.000-06:00

17 weeks 1 day and I feel like a blimp. It's only downhill body wise from here. Reason #48 I'm slapping this kid in the mouth the minute it pops it's head out.

I hate Maternity Clothes.

2010-02-10T12:47:00.000-06:00

I have complete disdain for all maternity attire. I always have.
Then this delicious package got delivered yesterday.....now I hate maternity attire 26% less. Specially when it's hand packaged...in one of my favorite colors.....with a hand written thank you note.

16/17 Weeks

2010-02-06T13:16:00.000-06:00

Because it's getting redundant, I'm coupling weeks up now....also, I'm lazy

How far along? 16 1/2 weeks
Weight gain/loss: Up 3.5 lbs.
Maternity clothes? yes...see above
Stretch marks? I see them in the horizon, just based on heredity alone.
Sleep? Can't get enough, it's getting ridiculous.
Best moment this week? Hearing the HB everyday. I'm a doppler addict
Movement: nope, only electric bolts
Food cravings: Still Sushi, always sushi, but also Milk, Cheese and Bloody Steaks
Gender: I think boy only based on my dream.
Belly button in or out? in....one of the folds
What I miss? Vodka. Glorious Glorious Vodka
What I am looking forward to? Next appt to hear HB Feb 8th
Weekly wisdom: One day at a time.
Milestones: Booking big u/s Monday!

Baby Julia.

2010-02-01T09:22:00.001-06:00

One of my online friends lost her baby Julia at 33 weeks last week. I can't explain how hard this news has hit me. I can hardly think of anything else since I heard. I think the fact that I truly believed when we heard from her again it would be good news coupled with the fact that she is honestly one of the kindest most supportive people on earth makes this so difficult to deal with. I can't lie and say this hasn't shaken my confidence in pregnancy-it has but the thought that repeats in my head is her waking up in the middle of night, half asleep and brushing her hand across her belly still expecting to feel her beautiful big pregnant belly and feeling the void. The remembering has to be so awful. I remember when I miscarried I started cramping and spotting and instead of the ER I went to bed, laid a towel down and went to sleep. In the middle of the night I lost my baby and woke up in the morning, turned to my wide-eyed husband who had sat next to me in the bathroom all night and asked "...did I dream it?" he said "..no babe. I'm sorry" and I wailed a blood curdling wail. Remembering was worse than the actual event.
I would never compare a miscarriage to the death of a child. I know they both hurt but the death of your 33 week infant has to be pain unlike any other. I think of her so often and everywhere. I pray god brings her and her husband peace, though I can't imagine how right now anything could. If you get a chance please pray for The Tyson's, and their sweet baby Julia.

15 Weeks!

2010-01-27T16:10:00.001-06:00

How far along? 15 Weeks.
Weight gain/loss: yo yo is the only way to precisely describe what's happening on the scale.
Maternity clothes? yes. I'm way thick.
Stretch marks? no new ones oddly. I'll be expecting them soon.
Sleep? due to iron supps for anemia I have no more headaches. The 12 hour sleep marathons commence!
Best moment this week? hearing the heartbeat on the crappy doppler
Movement: Only gastrointestinal
Food cravings: Sushi, steak, lemon, ice cream, and lychee martinis
Gender: I'm going to say Girl this week (pst! secretly I still think boy.)
Belly button in or out? in....way in
What I miss? free flowing coffee
What I am looking forward to? Next appt to hear HB Feb 8th
Weekly wisdom: Make-up a name you're thinking about and keep the stalkers at bay
Milestones: Picking up the HB at home. I'm practically an Obstetrician.

Boy or Girl?

2010-01-27T12:04:00.000-06:00

I hate not knowing, then again sometimes I feel like I will know too soon and this blissful ignorant haze I'm in will vanish then it's serious. Like once I know what it is the knowledge of it's genitals will demand a name, responsibilities, college choices, extra curricular activity classes, and a back pack. When I think like that I can't breathe. I bought bedding last night (bedding post to come soon), I brought it home, took it into the spare room, sat on the bed with it and gently glided my hand across the stitching thinking 'will you like it?' 'is it good enough?' 'is it soft enough to touch your skin?' Then I cried for all the girls that want to be picking baby bedding and haven't been able to yet. I ALWAYS cry for my fellow infertiles/miscarriage survivors. There is no pain in the world like it. Once I have that thought it always puts things into prospective. The bedding is fine, who cares? Whatever genitals my kid has it's fine, who cares? As long as he/she comes, who cares if I bought the right bedding, picked the right ballet classes, or thought at all about college choices. I'm so glad I even get to think about any of this at all.

What has 2 thumbs

2010-01-25T09:56:00.000-06:00

...and found the baby on the piece of crap doppler last night???????
That's right. This guy!

Poster Child for Pregnancy Health

2010-01-22T11:53:00.000-06:00

I'm an Ob's worst nightmare. I actually had to take a picture of my "snack" at my desk today because when my child is featured on Intervention or Jersey Shore acting like a jackass and everyone is wondering "what went so wrong" I can, with conviction, blame my pregnancy diet. This my mid morning snack. Yes, that is a ginormous Shaquil O'Neal sized cup of fully caffeinated Colombian roast washing down a homemade, lard and masa, delicious tamale....I should be embarrassed and at least slightly apologetic but sadly I'm neither.

14 Weeks! Hello 2nd Tri...

2010-01-20T08:55:00.000-06:00

...please be nicer than 1st Tri.

I'm starting to get a little nervous time is going by fast...

How far along? 14 Weeks.
Weight gain/loss: up another 2.5 The scale is total rudeness and I'm not putting up with it's crap anymore.
Maternity clothes? yes to some, not completely necessary but definitely more comfy.
Stretch marks? My "Silver Badges of Honor" are from long ago.
Sleep? not as good as it used to be due to my blinding headaches. High five Anemia!
Best moment this week? Seeing the dancing kid on the u/s. Then watching it sucks his/her thumb which made me worry I have a thumb sucker.
Movement: Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be one of those that feel it late like 42 weeks.
Food cravings: Yogurt, cucumbers, cherries, sushi, martinis, liver?
Gender: It's for sure a boy.....or a girl...but definitely one or the other.
Labor signs? no.
Belly button in or out? in.
What I miss? A life free of headaches.
What I am looking forward to? Actually picking up the HB on the stupid piece of crap doppler.
Weekly wisdom: Time goes by faster than you think.
Milestones: 2nd Trimester!

NT Scan Normal!

2010-01-19T09:22:00.000-06:00

The u/s part anyway. That is a relief! Although, I did end up anemic which explains my sleeping patterns & headaches but it's fine, comes with the territory I guess. My mother says "..see? Kids take everything out of you from the very beginning!" I think she's just doing groundwork for a really nice Mother's Day gift for herself.

13 Weeks! Shut Up!

2010-01-13T14:16:00.001-06:00

I'm starting to get a little nervous time is going by fast...

How far along? 13 Weeks!!
Weight gain/loss: Up 2-according to Dr's office scale. I think the scale is suspect.
Maternity clothes? yes some pants, no to most shirts. I do think I'm going to look into buying some maternity PJ's. How comfy would those be?
Stretch marks? Just the Oldies.
Sleep? Too much is never enough.
Best moment this week? Hearing my baby's hear beat at he Dr's office. Best moment so far!
Movement: Not yet.
Food cravings: still lemons, tacos, Orange Juice & Peanut M&M's.
Gender: Still going with Boy.
Labor signs? None.
Belly button in or out? in.
What I miss? Not having daily blinding headaches....and not feeling bad about taking Tylenol.
What I am looking forward to? My NT Scan Friday
Weekly wisdom: Just go with it.
Milestones: 13 Weeks!